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Will go live on/around release day
EXCERPT
Copyright Β© 2022 Penelope Ward
Mixing alcohol with nostalgia, it turns out, is not always the wisest choice.
When Archie and I returned to the house that night, we didnβt know what to do with ourselves. Neither of us was tired enough to sleep. But the alcohol from the beers at the beach and the wine heβd opened once we got back home was going to my head fast. I could no longer be trusted with my words.
Archie took out the chocolate cake heβd made earlier and placed it on the counter. We both began eating itβwith our bare hands. It was a mess, and I likely had chocolate all over my face. So this is how it ends, huh? I suppose it could be worse.
βI had so much fun tonight,β he said with his mouth full. βYou?β
βIt was awesome. Reminded me of the old days.β I licked chocolate off the corner of my mouth.
Archieβs eyes fell to my lips. βSeven years ago sometimes feels like yesterday, and other times like forever ago, doesnβt it?β
When I felt my eyes starting to well up, I knew that was my cue. I never wanted to leave Archieβs side, but I needed this weekend to be over before I lost it in front of him. βAnyway, weβd better go to bed,β I told him. βWe both have early flights in the morning.β
I hopped down from my stool and rushed over to the sink to wash my hands. I hadnβt intended to make eye contact with him again because I didnβt want him to notice my eyes. Then again, he was a little drunk, too, so not sure how perceptive he would be.
Then I felt his presence nearby.
βI have so many regrets,β he said from behind me.
I turned to face him and swallowed. βRegrets about what?β
He had chocolate cake on his face, but somehow heβd never looked hotter.
βEverything,β he whispered. βWith you.β He paused. βWhat we did and what we didnβt do. The way that summer ended. Everything.β
βWhy are you bringing this up now?β
βBecause Iβm fucking drunk, I guess. I donβt know.β He pulled on his hair. βYou look so goddamn beautiful right now.β His eyes were hazy as he murmured, βIt hurts to look at you.β
My tears felt ready to fall. I couldnβt let that happen. βKeep that shit to yourself,β I muttered.
βWe never talk about it, Noelle. We talk about everything else except the massive elephant in the roomβthe things we did that summer, what almost happened beforeββ
βStop.β I sniffled. βYouβre only bringing it up because youβre drunk. This is not a healthy way to discuss anything.β
βMaybe.β Archie leaned against the center island and placed his head in his hands. He went silent for a long time. βYou were with Shane for likeβ¦forever. I thought you were gonna marry that guy. And I thought you were happy. I never thought youβd break up with him.β He looked down at the floor. βI kept waiting andβ¦β
Waiting? He was waiting for things to end between Shane and me?
βIβm sorryβ¦β He shook his head. βYouβre right. I need to stop.β
Nothing good could come of two people with a ton of unspoken baggage trying to work things out while drunk. I couldβve poured out all of my feelings. I could have chosen to complicate his already-complicated lifeβturned it into a goddamn soap opera. But I loved him too much. I loved him. So I wouldnβt do that.
βGoodnight, Archie. Get some sleep.β
I left him standing in the kitchen next to a chocolate cake that looked like it had been ravaged by wild animals.
Then I went to my room and cried myself to sleep.
AUTHOR BIO